In the 2 weeks since I ended my run as a doormat, I’ve grabbed the reins and taken charge. Of course, it didn’t happen without some messiness.
A. and I got into a spat before I blocked him for good. It was all thru skype (and I am so glad I didn’t have to see his face, it spared my blood pressure). He still wanted to be friends, and finally acknowledged that I deserved better than being left out in the cold. He said he didn’t want to hurt me further by saying “the reason why” he had so coldly done so.
I shut him out and UP, and I gave him hell. In the end, I believe he shut his computer off. Then, after a good cry, I got up and began again. Simplifying.
These days with my daughter have been so worth it. The silliness, the work together, the bonding…and the healing. No man can give me what I’ve found with my little one. I’ve woken up relieved, glad that I am not chained to a chat room and an obstinate, needy personality. Every moment spent investing in my daughter’s future is time worth spent. Instead of itching for my next meetup with a man, I am craving time with my girl. Amen.