90 days

Well, its been 90 days and contrary to what I was told, no one ever called to tell me my rape kit was expiring. It makes me so sad to realize that once I left that prosecutor’s office back in May, they just got rid of everything. All of it was for naught.
I still had to make the effort, prove to myself that I was worth a damn. And now, I don’t even know if I will be attending a survivor group, if it will come to fruition. Did it really happen? Was this all just an exercise in futility?
I can’t tell you how disappointed in “the system” I am. It makes me almost catatonic pondering on how idealistic I was.
The call/text blocks have expired. And in those 2 days, I have not heard from him. Don’t think I will, either.
A few weeks ago, I left the meetup group I was in with C. The thought of running into her again was too much to take, and I felt pressured into making a concession with her. Fuck that.
I did something else. I fostered a puppy, saved a life. I went on a date last week. Got a massage Monday and last night took my little one to see the stars.
Putting it back together one step at a time. This is not going to be the end of me. Its a new beginning.


About downszdiva

Freelance writer, blogger, foodie. Ph ilosopher, Jersey girl (not to be confused with the 'shore'). Pet sitter, lover of strong coffee.
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