A few days ago, I had a visit with my therapist. Recently, I’ve been feeling that things have taken a turn for the dark with her. Little things. She just has been more critical, and then she said that I’m not making progress and she’s failing me. What?! I have made progress. I came from a desperate painful place, where I couldn’t even bear to go very long without getting male attention to now loving my own company and being more than able to go without a flighting attachment with a guy. Sure, I have a crush on my massage therapist, but why does that set her off? I haven’t acted out in any unethical way…so why?
I’ve taken some time and realized that I don’t need to justify myself to anyone. In fact, I am so exhausted mentally with trudging myself down to some office constantly talking about my problems. Enough. Its my life and I’m actually doing well. Yes, I have issues to face, who doesn’t? I don’t need to feel like I’m fucking up every week or justify my behavior.
I’m in charge. Everyone has their own little opinions, but its mine that takes the lead. Enough. I need space, but I’m done with her. And it feels so good.