30 pounds down

This feels great. Now, some people have noticed. I still feel a bit odd when wearing a more body- conscious dress. There’s this voice I have to work in tamping down that rears up and snarks,” now who do you think you are?” and it drones on before I shut the lid down on it.
Getting thin means facing those insecurities that my weight covered up all those years. It also can mean anxiety at the increased attention. I’m not a mess, just so you know, but this is all part of being human. Just as food intake and exercise alone don’t keep you focused…it begins with intention (which is very helpful in yoga).
I’ve done diets before, but I didn’t keep up on it because inside, I didn’t believe this was a long- term thing. And I was doing it for outside reasons: a size, a man, my illusion of a life that would magically apparate once my goal weight was achieved.
And what about my closet? I don’t hang onto sizes that are too big (just in case, a fat lie that serves as an obstacle), I bag them up and donate. Do I whine along the way? You bet. But I also pick up casual stuff at my local thrift store.
Two weeks ago, I got a few pairs of pants (one for work, yay!), and they all came to $17. That’s less than you’d get a new pair for, most places.
This is also the halfway point for me. 35 more to go. My promise is that I won’t let it come back. My commitment to myself for fitness is true to my heart. Every step I take, it’s honoring me. And I’m enjoying the journey.


About downszdiva

Freelance writer, blogger, foodie. Ph ilosopher, Jersey girl (not to be confused with the 'shore'). Pet sitter, lover of strong coffee.
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