Injured list

Saturday, I woke up pumped for Zumba class. I went there, worked it, but towards the end of the class, I began to get increasingly dizzy. When I left the floor, I reached for my water and blacked out.
I came to, disoriented, bleeding, and in pain. I had fainted, hit my head, and was sent to the ER.
I had sustained a laceration to my forehead, lip, badly bruised my knees and hands, and banged up my face.
The second day was the awakening to pain and soreness. Today, I am still feeling weak and limit my activities ( hard for someone who is used to being on the go and working out 6 times a week) plus parenting/sports.
I’m realizing that I’ve been rushing, my mind has been on high stress alert, and I slough off compliments. I haven’t felt enough. I don’t feel like I can admit my accomplishments and celebrate them, because I don’t want to until I’ve reached my goal weight.
But is that what’s this journey’s all driven by? When I started out, I just wanted to get healthy. And I am. I don’t want to believe that, at 173 pounds I’ve arrived.
What’s wrong here? I did raise my original goal to 155. So that would make 17 more pounds to goal. But I must stop and relax into this new me. I actually panic inside when I get appreciated about my new figure.
I’m going to meditate on this. Because this fall, the erratic heart rate that followed, is a wake-up call.

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About downszdiva

Freelance writer, blogger, foodie. Ph ilosopher, Jersey girl (not to be confused with the 'shore'). Animal rescue, lover of strong coffee.
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