Saying goodbye to the pity party

Tonight I made a concerted effort to get my ass out on the street and move. And move I did I made more steps than I have in a long time. At work we have this promotion going where you have to make at least 10,000 steps a day or at least work towards that.
In general I’ve been feeling pretty disappointed with life. I get jealous of other people’s successes and I suffer from fear of missing out. The truth is I’ve been full of hurt for a long time over many things mostly trusting other people with new relationships and friendships and disappointment about where I am in my current life. Also I’m very critical of myself and I don’t take the time to acknowledge my successes.
But tonight I’m very proud of the steps I’ve taken towards breaking through that bullshit. It was time when I was walking so much that I actually thought so no I’m going to faint I start to relive those moments in that Zumba class last year when I sustained a serious head injury after fainting. I got so mad that it’s taking me so long to just get back on the horse and find my courage I don’t know how other athletes do it, maybe they have to go to a sports medicine psychologist.  I kind of dropped out of the scene for a while.
And I was also very angry that the teacher of this particular class didn’t take the time to consider the surface of the floor under what your students were  working out on. My head hit solid concrete and I’m very lucky I am still here and that it was only a concussion and I have scar I bear.
Unfortunately I listen to my mothers scared voice and I did not push on to get back into sports the way I had before I also had a longer recovery period than I had anticipated.
It feels so good to know that I’m back in the driver’s seat and that I have control. Now I just need to push this momentum forward.

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About downszdiva

Freelance writer, blogger, foodie. Ph ilosopher, Jersey girl (not to be confused with the 'shore'). Animal rescue, lover of strong coffee.
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