Thoughts on my longest journey

Over the years, I’ve been on many diets and eating plans. The Grapefruit Diet, Nutrisystem, The Zone, South Beach, Slim Fast, and supplements, gimmicks galore. 

In the past few years, i’ve turned to weight watchers. Wow that plan has worked several times, I can’t help but notice that something must be missing as my weight keeps coming back. And I realize that all of the low-fat point plus items I picked out are not going to get me where I need to go as long as I’m not getting the nutrition I need. And that is the key here.

A holistic approach is best. I’ve been watching several documentaries that it really touched my heart, I have also brought quite an awareness to the front. Are used to think that an item was good just simply because it was lower fat or marked with diet or anything that seemed healthy. I am now learning that while they look and taste good, there nothing more than filler and junk. Edit

I remember at one weight watchers meeting, the leader talking about for those hunger days having mixed vegetable cabbage soup. And now I’m thinking, why would you be so hungry if you’re getting the nutrition you need. 

But besides that, what about exploring what’s going on inside to make me Think I am not as good? I’ll tell you want. I’ve had two very difficult years where I’ve had to adjust to some trying family circumstances. Those have caused me to really challenge my own ability to lead. I’ve had to take on responsibilities I didn’t  think I could handle. But I did. Unfortunately in the process, I’ve put on some weight. 

In talking with my friends, I’ve chosen not to make this focus about numbers or about a size. Those things separate us. I need unity, and I need support. And I also want to be there for others. But first I must be there for myself.

Over the years I’ve heard so many things when it comes to eating. I’ve had my bout with the stop the insanity plan. But every single one of these plans is nothing more than just a gimmick. It’s a swindle in order to separate you from your money, At the expense of your self-esteem. Because inevitably the truth is that these plans are temporary. My desire is that if I cannot follow something that I’m not going to use in every day life, it’s not worth my time or my money.

And also it’s important to note that your body will crave what it needs to survive. Just watch documentaries like overfed and under nourished, may I be frank, hungry for change, and fed up. 

Sugar will always be a temptation for me. But the biggest challenge for me is emotional. I have my share of self-loathing and fears. A few years ago, I had some “friends” who truly betrayed me and broke my trust. It’s left a deep scar that I’m working on healing. I shut myself off from anything I didn’t seem safe. It’s work to open myself up again. I will get there. 

In the back of my mind, I started diet plans with the idea that this would be for a while until I get to where I want to be and then I can relax. No I realize that health is not about a size it’s about a state of mind and it stayed in your body. I want to take every effort to make sure that I’m here for as long as I can. And I want to beat the diabetes in my family. Lucky to say I don’t have it yet but I could.

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About downszdiva

Freelance writer, blogger, foodie. Ph ilosopher, Jersey girl (not to be confused with the 'shore'). Animal rescue, lover of strong coffee.
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